Pop Quiz

Given the following two phrases

1) Oh the humanity

2) For the love of humanity

Your response is:

a) I have heard both of them.

b) I've only heard one.  (Do tell me which you've heard.)

c) I've never heard either.

d) What is she talking about?!

This is of grave import so please help.  If you do, you'll make me as happy as a baby with paper.

Have Yourselves a Merry Little Christmas

Three Strikes...You're In!

I used to have three rules for outdoor Christmas lights:

• Thou shalt not mix multi-colored strands of lights with solid strands.
• Thou shalt not mix solid strands with blinking strands.
• Thou shalt not mix big bulbs with small bulbs.

But recently I have to admit that I'm throwing those rules out the window. And the one new rule that's replacing it? The tackier, the better. I am fully embracing it and love every house that is doing the same.

For me and my house, well, I'm still going to stay with my rules. But please, no one else do the same.  Because if you did, then we wouldn't have beauties like this:

Redefining Christmas Gifts

Here's my latest AHA! moment into my own soul.  Isn't it fun getting to know yourself?!

Last year Chuck and I were in Utah for the holidays, so we decided that we should open all of our gifts before we go. We didn't need to haul them on a plane just to haul them back. So on the eve of Christmas Eve we went to dinner (Continental Pizza and Subs for Chuck's pepperoni pizza and my chicken souvlaki), went to the temple to see the lights, and then went home to open the presents. It was supposed to be this great wonderful beautiful night. And it was...until we opened gifts.

So here's what I learned: I really like giving gifts. That is, I like giving gifts when I feel the gift is really something that the receiver will like. For example, I was pretty excited to give my mom her Christmas present last year. She wanted an apron so I found a great pattern and fabric and was really pleased with how it turned out. This year for my nephews Miles and Jonas, I am also really excited about what I made for them.  Hopefully they'll like it too.  And Emmy and Ziggy have pretty fun gifts coming their ways as well...again, hopefully.

But here's the rub. When I am stymied about what to give, I refuse to just buy "something." R and I have a great gift-giving relationship this way. If we see something we know the other will love, we buy it. But if not, it's NO BIG DEAL. So as much as I don't want to buy just "something," I really really really don't want to be given just "something." In fact, just getting "something" is really distressing to me. Some (cough cough, Chuck) might say it's tear-inducing.

I'm still not exactly sure why this is, however. Although I think it boils down to one of my least favorite feelings: disappointment.  Maybe I'm disappointed because that person doesn't know me well enough to know what I want? Maybe I'm disappointed at the money and materials wasted in the giving of this gift? Maybe because it's just another thing I'll have to have in my house until I feel okay enough to freecycle it? Probably all of the above. Whatever the reason, it's still upsetting.

Here is our solution: As far as gifts from others, I know I can't control that. I'll have to be better at being grateful and in turn, better at re-gifting. But for the couple-gift-exchange dilemma, instead of giving each other "something," we're going to give each other our time. (Cue the "awwww...") That is, each Christmas, we'll plan an activity (e.g., seeing a show, splurging on a nice dinner, going to some sporting event, sky diving) and use the money we would have spent on gifts to do it. Rhett and Bruno will get gifts, of course, but for each other, we just want to spend time together. I can't wait to decide what we get to do!

Self Promoting at Its Worst

Two things:

First, check out what's been happening over at the Foodees. Emily and I are hosting a raffle and WOW! has it been successful! People are posting such amazing (and yummy) things. Em and I can barely keep up. The final day of the contest is Monday and we'll announce a winner on Tuesday. Check back to see who takes home the grand prize! (And no, sorry, it won't be a leg lamp, but it might be a bowling alley.)


Second, just in time for Christmas I've relisted everything at my Etsy shop. You know you want it all.

Your Answers Made Me Go Hmmm...

Here's what I have to say in response to what you had to say to what I had to ask:

1. I thought turban-wrapping your hair was something everyone knew, you know, like how to make a rootbeer float. But apparently, if your hair is boy-short and you never have to use the turban wrap, then you don't know how to actually do it. This was news to me.

2. Other than my friend Angie, everyone calls them Nilla. But I'm with her: they're vanilla wafers. You guys are all crazy.

3. I asked this question incorrectly. Before you read any further, what would you call this?
To me, this is a truck. To Chuck, this is a "pick-up" and the semi-truck is a "truck." Wrong wrong wrong. This is a truck and the big beautiful Werner machine is a semi.

4. This came about after a thread in an online Washington Post chat. The moderator wrote that women generally use 2-3 sheets; of course I was flummoxed as I'd never used that few. But you guys really put me to shame; I use about 8-10. I'll try to reduce.

5. I thought that since 1% milk has 1% milkfat and 2% milk has 2% milkfat, well, then whole milk should be 100%. I honestly believed this. But the right answer is 4%. So the next time someone asks for your whole attention, you only have to listen to every 25th word. Sweet.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

Here are some thing I've been pondering this week:

1) If you are a guy, do you know how to turban-wrap your hair after a shower?

2) Do you call these "nilla wafers" or "vanilla wafers"?
3) Is this a "truck" or a "semi"? (Werner is my favorite company, by the way. I think their colors are beautiful, in a marketing way, of course.)
4) On average, how many squares of toilet paper would you say you use to go number one?

5) If 1% milk is milk with 1% milkfat, what % milkfat is whole milk?

Answers to come...

(e)Rin Tin Tin

Unless you took French, you probably don't know Tin Tin. But see if you can figure out why his picture is posted here next to mine...

Honestly, what is happening with my faux bangs? I never asked for these; they just appeared. And they're curled backwards almost exactly like my seventh grade Utah bangs. This can't be good.

Well That's One Way to Handle It

So remember when we were having that problem with the dog doing his bid-ness in our yard? Yeah, so apparently one way to handle that is for the dog to get heartworm disease, the owners do nothing, and then the dog dies. Huh. Who knew?

But we did find another option, you know, in case the whole heartworm thing doesn't pan out next time. On a walk one day, someone had written in chalk on their sidewalk these words: "Please keep your dogs off of our yard or pick up after them. Thanks!" I love it. If we ever have this problem again, that will be my chosen solution. And if we ever have this problem again AND we live in Utah, well, we'll use Linda's solution.

Where Was Sarah 31 Years Ago?

Anyone else seen this? I won't wax politically, but the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator has changed my life. Who knew (other than Gov. Palin) that instead of Rhett, he should have been named Barrel McRaven?! Instead of being married to a Charles, I should be married to Copper Catfish? (Copper sounds so much sexier, doncha think?) And me, I have spent the last 31 years mis-named as well. I should have been Fork Decoy! It's like I don't even know who I am any more.

P.S. I really really want to make this. Although, I think I'd try it with a lemon cake and lemon yogurt (thanks to a genius idea from my sis-in-law). Does anyone want to come over and eat it with me?

P.P.S. Is it wrong to love your kids more when they're sleeping?

P.P.P.S. Is the third postscript "P.P.P.S." or "P.P.S.S." or something else entirely? Discuss.

Plan B: Put it in a Paper Sack on Their Doorstep and Light it on Fire

Our neighbors have a large dog (we'll call it "LND" for Large Neighbor Dog, creative, I know). We think it's a mix of pit bull, maybe boxer, and something white. It seems to be a fairly well-behaved dog and hasn't bothered Bruno one bit.

Our concern is this: LND is defecating in our yard. As you can imagine I'm upset. As responsible pet owners, we always clean up after Bruno. Newspaper bags are awesome for this (providing protection to my elbows!). But anytime we are outside with Bruno, we have a bag with us. Our neighbors? Never. In fact, usually they just let the dog out of the house to do his business and then bring him in a few minutes later.

Admittedly, we're not 100% sure that the newly-found poo in our yard is LND's. But as we've not seen any other dogs and this has become a fairly frequent experience, I'll say that we're 98% sure. And it's pretty big poo, meaning it's coming from a pretty big dog, which LND certainly is.

What to do? I do love the Plan B option, but that seems likely to begin a Hatfield-McCoy situation and frankly, I don't have the time. How do we handle this without involving the use of paper bags and matches?

Things That Must Go

Grocery stores that don't let you take carts to your car. I'd never seen them until I moved to the East, but I still can't figure them out. Am I just supposed to leave my already-purchased groceries just sitting there, unattended, while I go get my car? I don't think so! It really makes me angry. By the time I got to my car, I was kicking the toilet paper while the bag holding cans broke. It was really as pathetic as you picture it.

Things that Must NOT Go:
Clementines. Along with bananas, they are the perfect fruit.

Utah Wrap Up

We just returned from our week-long trip to Utah. Since we're still of the "freaky new parents" variety, we didn't dare try anything too crazy. Mostly we hung out in Midway and relaxed. Since there's not much I love more than a summer's evening in Utah, this was easy.

Rhett was able to meet his cousins (on my side) for the first time. He's still a bit young to enjoy them, but I think they enjoyed him.

Some of the other highlights include: a trip to Cabela's in an answer to my nephew's prayer. Visiting old friends and even older family. Trip to the Park City and its outlets. Trip to SLC's farmers' market. Getting a hair cut and color (pics later). Swimming and hot tubbing. A baby who seemed to be a natural at flying.




The lowlight was: running what-was-supposed-to-be-8K-but-ended-up-being-an-8-miler. Sigh. Next time we'll find an easier-to-find race to run. I was just happy Chuck didn't puke in my dad's car.

A note about Rhett's headband. Since giving birth to a boy, I've been slightly jealous about all the headband-ery that I'm missing. All it takes is one look at the very top picture to see how cute Emmy's headband is. So I set out to find one that would be suitable for a boy, and what you see above is what I found. I'm in love with it.

I'll Have the Atacama, Please

Whoa. If you're in SLC this weekend, get thee to Park City NOW. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, the Zona Rosa restaurant is offering a free desert to its patrons. There are just so many from which to choose! How's a girl to make up her mind?!

One note about Utah: if I have to see one more truck with a completely exaggerated lift kit, I think I might gouge out my eyes.

And just for fun...Rhett meets cousin Jonas...

Inaugural Breads and Spreads

For my birthday this year, I wanted to do something that I really wanted; shocker, I know. My birthday falls in my least second-least favorite month of the year (July being the worst) and most birthdays include some type of barbecue. This year I wanted something different. My first thought was to have a candy party. But other then myself, who could eat a meal of Runts and Hot Tamales? No one. My second favorite food is generally any type of bread. Yep, that's right: I'm an anti-Atkins-ite. So Chuck had the great idea to have a bread party. Breads and Spreads was born.

And it was AWESOME.



The best part about it? All the leftovers! Thank goodness for that upright freezer I have. I'm sooo doing this again.


*And not in any way related to this post at all, but if you want to be creeped out for a couple of hours or want to creep out someone else, read this. HOLY MOLY. However, after my severely cynical husband told me to check its validity, I found this on Snopes. I'm resting only slightly easier.

How About This?

Ignore the face and focus solely on the hair. Too short? Too young?

Not sure why I'm not happy. Although, I was turning an even-numbered age that day. That might have something to do with it.

I'm Nearly Ariel

My hair is approaching mermaid length. What is mermaid length, you ask? You know, the length at which I could go topless and still be rated PG-13. Lucky for most of you, the following picture is the G-rated version. Sadly for those looking for soft porn, the following picture is the G-rated version. (Thanks go to Angie for introducing this vocabulary term to me. I do loves it so. Now everyone else use it once in a sentence today.)

Problem is: I hate it. Six days of seven it's in a pony tail. To spice up that pony tail, I may or may not put a braid in it. And if I'm feeling really saucy, I might add a headband. I think you see the problem.

I thought, "Hey, if it's this long, why not donate it to Locks of Love?" Turns out that they don't accept highlighted hair. Cross off that, I guess. But leaving it as is is definitely out of the question. The longer it gets, the heavier it gets, and the heavier it gets, well, the more I look like a blonde Mortitia. It's bad. It's flat and lifeless. Blah.

But now what? Anyone who knows me well knows how much I detest doing my hair. I usually say that I hate showering. Turns out that I don't hate the act of showering by itself, rather, I hate all the stuff that follows the shower. Especially the hair part. So it gets ignored.

Anyone have any ideas? How short do you think my face can take? What about a body wave perm? Anyone have experience with this? Remember that it's me you're talking to. This means almost no product and no implements other than a round brush and a hair dryer. Do I even have any options? Where is Nick Arrojo when I need him???

P.S. Holy crap! Did anyone else see that to get a haircut from Nick is a cool $500??

I Had to Hula Hoop in Directions I've Never Hula Hooped Before!

If I did a "Quote of the Week" like my sister does, or a "Things People Say" like Camie does, then the above quote would make it for sure.

We're definitely enjoying the Wii Fit. Thanks Mom and Dad for the early birthday present. We may not be any lighter when we see you next, but at least we're having fun!

I Told You I Was Feeling Green...

Another peek into the house.

I finished these cafe curtains for the kitchen when the tension rods finally arrived yesterday. (This picture doesn't show the second window.)

And the interesting branch above the cutout? I think it's one of those things you either love or hate. Obviously, I'm feeling the love.

Feeling a Little Green

I always get nervous when I post pictures of my house because I have a friend (cough, cough Camie) who is an interior designer and she makes me feel self-conscious about my decorating decisions. Not because she's like that; rather, I am.

But with a baby who is finally learning to take good naps (he's got 90 minutes already into this one!), I'm finally able to start getting some stuff done. Hallelujah. Just in time for me to go back to work...sigh.

Anyway, here's the handiwork of the weekend, when we should have been writing sacrament talks instead. The top color looks a little brighter than it is in real life, but it's pretty close. We're super pleased. We just hope Rhett is too. It is his room after all.


And during yesterday's morning nap, I was able to finish these. I am in LOVE with them and walk by them at least 40 times a day.

I am waiting for the rest of the hardware to arrive so that I can finish my cafe curtains for the two windows in the kitchen.

Viva la nap time!