02 September 2008

Our Toothbrushes are Seeing More Action

Remember when Rhett was born and I nearly cried writing about how great Chuck was and how much more I loved him because of that experience? Yeah, so do I. But only barely.

Don't worry. Chuck's still the same awesome helper and I'm still extremely lucky and happy to have him. But lately, so much of our love and our focus is on little Rhett that I feel like we're forgetting about our love for each other. It's as if we're more roommates instead of lovers. And I hate it, almost as much as I hate the word "lovers." Ha.

But I'm not sure what to do about it. When Rhett's sleeping, we're busy doing household stuff (this may or may not include things like just eating dinner). And when he's awake, we're either both playing with him, or one is playing with him while the other is busy doing the remaining household stuff.

We tried implementing a new rule that says, "At 9:30 p.m., drop whatever household stuff you're doing so that we can spend at least 30 minutes a day together." But 30 minutes?! That's not enough. Especially since most of the time we want to use that 30 minutes for additional sleep. And even now that Rhett is asleep by 8 p.m. and we have two hours together, it still doesn't seem like enough.

So what do you do? How do you not let kids take over your relationship with your spouse?

8 comments:

Living in Tally said...

Jessen and I live for date nights. We swap with a another couple. They come and watch our kids while we go out. They put all the kids to bed here. Then the next week we switch. It's great because we don't have to pay a sitter and the kids look forward to friends over.

Deanna said...

This has been one of the most frustrating things with having kids for me as well. I could spend 24/7 with Todd and love every second - so I hate that between work and kids we don't get too much time together. Like the above comment, we also have a weekly date night swap that we do so that we can afford to have dates for just us. And honestly, sometimes we just get less sleep to be able to get more time together. It does get easier though, when your kids get a bit older and can entertain themselves more to be able to slip in a bit more couple time.

emily said...

i am of no help here.

but i sure like your picture.

Niederfam said...

let me know when you do!!!!!! ;)

Nicole said...

hmm, what a great question! Yep, a date night's a good idea, but sometimes you don't trust people with a really young baby. I think as time goes on and a schedule is more in place, it's easier to find time together.

Sandra said...

Allan and I need a lot of help in this department too. We've only been in a couple dates since David was born. Your post has been a good reminder that it's important to spend time as a couple too. Thanks Erin!!

holly said...

yeah, swapping date nights, that is a good thing for sure. we did it where one mom comes over while the dad stays home with his kid(s), then it switches the next time. it will get easier when your little guy is a bit older and down for the night around 7-8PM.

something else Matt and I do is give eachother a "night off" during the week to do hobbies or whatever. After dinner one of us does chores and bedtime while the other gets to play or go out, etc. This isn't "couple time" but it makes it easier to have other nights during the week where we're doing things together instead of going different directions.

i {heart} hawkes said...

it's simple, when the babe is sleeping get busy in your own room!