04 May 2007

FHE for Two

Our next enrichment meeting is going to be focused on Family Home Evening. I was asked to give a 10-minute spiel on " FHE for two," I guess because the enrichment leader figured I should know something about it. I don't. I should, I realize, but I don't. C and I started our marriage with weekly FHEs. But then, as most good intentions, well, we sort of started forgetting to do it. And then I started teaching on Monday nights, and we haven't seen FHE since.

However, that doesn't mean I don't want to do it. I do. I believe it's important, and not just because it's a commandment. But, as it is only two of us in our household (no puggy, sniff), it seems our whole life is FHE! Need to talk scheduling? Okay, how about in the car on the way to work. Need to talk finances? Okay, how about at the end of the month when I bring home the report. Need to talk gospel? Okay, how about on Sunday after we heard a talk. It just seems that our life is constant FHE.

So that's what I decided my 10-minute talk will be on. How do couples separate FHE from the rest of their regularly scheduled lives? Thoughts?

9 comments:

Deanna said...

I REALLY REALLY miss the days of FHE with just Todd and I. We focused a lot of our FHE's on reading articles on marriage and finding ways to enrich our marriage, or reading conference talks, etc. It was always so nice to just be able to have deep gospel discussions and make efforts to remind ourselves that we need to be continually working on our marriage. Now, with kids, our FHE consists of trying to get the kids to focus for like 3 minutes to learn a simple gospel principle! Never any deep gospel insights or discussion. It's usually very stressful and difficult.

I've considered trying to start doing a special FHE with just Todd and me again. So my thoughts are FHE for 2 is a blessed time of life and a great opportunity to spend time REALLY talking to each other about things that you DON'T talk about on a day to day basis. And hey, occasionally FHE can just be going out and doing something fun together, just because.

Gretchen said...

Do you sing a hymn? Well, then, I think technically that's not really FHE.

I have the same dilemma. FHE for one? It's too ridiculous. I'm not going to sit around my apartment on Monday night and have a spiritual discussion with myself. Instead I watch Heroes and contemplate good vs. evil. haha

Todd said...

I think that whether there's two or 10 you can really benefit from the structure of FHE. Song, prayer, scripture, lesson (prepared in advance), game, etc. It's more work, but like all things, you get out what you put in. It's nice to have a night separated where you protect it from other events, even if it's Sunday. It gets harder to do that the more members of the family you have. Good luck with the lesson!

emily said...

to separate it from your regular FHE discussions during the week actually PLAN something that is different than what you do all week long. don't talk about finances, what to have for dinner, etc. play a cheesy "getting to know you game," play "pass the pigs," go for a walk, etc. just something different.

that's my 2 cents.

lys said...

I know what you mean about doing FHE for two! I think that the important thing is just to do it. I used to try to plan all these elaborate lessons, but it ended up that it just worked out better for us to have a prayer and then read and discuss an article from the Ensign. We'd also try to invite other couples w/o kids from the ward over for FHE at least once a month.

Niederfam said...

You don't want my advice on this and it's too late now anyway, BUT just so you don't feel too bad about your efforts, or lack there of lately, I have TWO small sons, and ummm...we've been watching Dancing with Stars and twirling at my house for FHE.....kinda puts it in perspective, so THANKS for the reminder of what I SHOULD and WILL be doing....:)

erin said...

nat, don't worry about the time. i don't actually give the "lesson" until the 15th...so plenty of time. i'm actually kind of surprised at myself for thinking about this before the 14th!

Ambular said...

M and I have hardly ever had FHE, but when we do, I think the obvious difference between our constant decision making and every day discussions, is that when we do have FHE we open and close with a prayer and song. It brings the Spirit into our home other than us just sitting there talking about the gospel, or budget, or how we are going to landscape the backyard. FHE definitely has a different feel to it, when you actually have the time and thought to do it. Not sure if that came across clearly, but that is my two cents!

Niederfam said...

Oh dear, so I didn't post or read comments until now, realizing that in fact I could have given some insight, not that it would have been very worthwhile, but you know, every little bit helps, and maybe you could have used me as the "bad example" maybe you did....Okay so my insight would be to consider playing hostess to some other FHE groups of TWO.....I love to invite people over, to play and have fun, so maybe you could organize your own little groups, think like college ward times....Alright there you have it, that was my 2 cents...and don't worry we are improving our FHE as we speak. Hope it went well......:)