How Much is Time With Chuck Worth?

Chuck is currently working on obtaining his administrator's certificate. When he finishes at the end of this school year, he'll be certified to be a vice-principal. In addition to the course work he's taking through the university, he has to take some classes through his school district. At the end of the first of these school district classes, there was a panel of recently-hired administrators, and a Q & A session was held. The thing that Chuck took away from this was that he (and I) should expect him to work 12-hour days, 12 months a year if/when he is an administrator.

Right now, Chuck leaves the house around 6:30 a.m. and comes home around 3:30 p.m. (nine-hour days). If I could have my way, I'd have him home eight minutes after the end of seventh period, but he has to do something he calls "prep." (Sounds made up to me but whatever.) The fact that I am home alone with Rhett until 3:30 is hard enough. But 6:30? Could I do it? Do I want to do it? And what about the effect on Rhett? We start his nighttime routine at 6:30. Chuck would walk through the door minutes before Rhett was put down for the night. They'd see each other only on weekends.

Becoming an administrator would bring to pass only one thing: more money. This difference in pay would give me the option to stay home completely if I ever desired. Or if I continued to work, it would give us bigger inputs for retirement, Rhett's college, home improvements, etc. I know having money doesn't bring happiness; but I strongly believe that not having enough money does bring unhappiness. The money becomes a big factor.

On the other hand, Chuck coming home at 6:30 would leave us almost no time to spend together as a family. He'd get home from work, Chuck would eat dinner (no way I can wait until 6:30), and Rhett would go to bed. That's it. Sure we'd have Saturdays, but is that enough? When I think about what I want for my child, I want him to know his Dad. I want them to spend time together, play in the back yard together, walk the dog together. And as a non-administrator, he has summers off. Sure he gets a job for six weeks, but it leaves us three weeks to do whatever we want. (Of course, we'd have no money to do anything...)

But how do you make this decision? Even now, I feel like our finances are very tight. The extra money would be wonderful. But at what cost?

An Interesting Discussion

Last night Chuck's brother and sister-in-law came over to play Settlers of Catan with us. As I can't get into the game as much as Chuck can, I have to have conversation. This was one topic:

Who do you think knows your spouse better: you or your mother-in-law?

In our house, Chuck and I both feel that I know him better than his mom. (It's unclear whether she would agree.) But Chuck's SIL thinks that the boys' mom knows her husband better. I can't imagine this. I know that we've only been married for just less than four years, and I admit that I do not know everything that has happened to Chuck. But I feel like I know the man that he is better than his mom does. I also feel that Chuck knows me better than my own mother. He agrees.

How is it in your house?

Too Bad I Don't Know How to Can

Do you ever have one of those days that you wish you could replay over and over? Not in a "Groundhog Day"-Bill-Murray sort of way, but rather because it was perfect? I had that day yesterday. I wish I could bottle the day and reopen it again and again and again.

Although it didn't start ideally (Rhett woke us up at about 4:45 a.m. and then permanently at 5:15 a.m.), I got up and checked email, began reading the newspaper, and started a load of laundry all before Rhett was brought out of his room at 6:00 a.m. Achieving this meant that his morning wake time could be spent one-on-one with him. We went outside and felt the beauty of the cool, crisp air. We played inside and I helped him get oh-so-closer to crawling (even though I have to ask myself why?!). We even took fun pictures to send to Chuck at work. When it was nap time, he went down beautifully.

During his nap time, I was able to get more laundry done and myself taken care of. I also opened the house as the weather was simply awesome. I could feel the fresh air in my toes. As soon as Rhett awoke, I strapped him into the car seat to run errands. When we got back, we played a little more and then he went down (beautifully again) for nap two. He stayed asleep long enough for me to get the house back to order (the shopping trip required much to be done), and for me to start working on a sewing project (pictures to follow in a couple of days). When he woke up, we took Bruno to the park near our house and enjoyed the beautiful weather again.

Soon Chuck came home and I went to the gym. My run was good and I came home to an almost-done dinner, complete with pasta, this totally yummy alfredo sauce, and leftover bread. We followed dinner by our usual walk with baby and dog and on return, it was time to put Rhett to bed. (We are LOVING this new early bedtime!)

Once the baby was in bed, we straightened the house, got things ready for today, and then retired to the basement to unwind. I continued to work on some sewing while Chuck comforted our healing dog. Physical dessert was a skinny cow; mental dessert was watching Project Runway.

I just loved everything about this day. I loved feeling productive. I loved spending time with my little boy. I loved being outside with temperatures in the 70s and low humidity. I loved running errands and shopping at Target. I loved sewing. I loved Project Runway. I loved being a mom (this might be the first time I've ever said this.) And I loved the quiet time with Chuck at the end of it all. Again again please!

Our Toothbrushes are Seeing More Action

Remember when Rhett was born and I nearly cried writing about how great Chuck was and how much more I loved him because of that experience? Yeah, so do I. But only barely.

Don't worry. Chuck's still the same awesome helper and I'm still extremely lucky and happy to have him. But lately, so much of our love and our focus is on little Rhett that I feel like we're forgetting about our love for each other. It's as if we're more roommates instead of lovers. And I hate it, almost as much as I hate the word "lovers." Ha.

But I'm not sure what to do about it. When Rhett's sleeping, we're busy doing household stuff (this may or may not include things like just eating dinner). And when he's awake, we're either both playing with him, or one is playing with him while the other is busy doing the remaining household stuff.

We tried implementing a new rule that says, "At 9:30 p.m., drop whatever household stuff you're doing so that we can spend at least 30 minutes a day together." But 30 minutes?! That's not enough. Especially since most of the time we want to use that 30 minutes for additional sleep. And even now that Rhett is asleep by 8 p.m. and we have two hours together, it still doesn't seem like enough.

So what do you do? How do you not let kids take over your relationship with your spouse?

A (wee bit late) Tribute to Chuck

Do you ever wonder why it is that you were born at the time that you were? I do. Could I have handled pioneer living? Don't think so. But the Middle Ages? Sounds kinda fun, as long as I could be a noble.

But I am glad that I was born in 1977. As a woman who values education, especially an education in the mathematical sciences, I wouldn't have had the same opportunities had I been born in, say, 1877. (Besides, statistics as a discipline wasn't even really invented yet. On the other hand, I guess I could have invented it...hmm...)

Being married has really given me another reason to be so grateful that I was born when I was. I think being married now is very different than being married 50 years ago. Chuck and I truly have a partnership, both in marriage and now in parenthood. Before Rhett came along, we did our own laundry, we kept the house clean, we collaborated on financial matters. Fifty years ago, I don't think that a husband would be expected to be so amenable to these things. But the more I talk to other wives, we are all having the same experience. And I am so glad for all of us!

Especially now that I am a mother do I appreciate this. Chuck not only supports my running habit, but understands that as soon as he gets home, Rhett is his responsibility until I get back. Even better, he doesn't view time time with Rhett as a responsibility; he enjoys spending time with his son. Even better than all of that, he doesn't mind starting dinner so that when I come back from running, dinner's waiting for me. I could go on and on about all the things that he does for me and now Rhett...but I won't.

I started this post thinking it would be a Father's Day tribute; everyone else was doing them. But really, since Rhett is still just little and blob-ish (although he's now a smiley blob), neither one of us feels very "parent-y." So it's just another note of complete adoration for my husband. I love that I can say that although he's not perfect, he's perfect for me.

Another Adjustment

During my engagement to Chuck, I was mostly excited at the thought of getting married. But part of me was scared to death because I was afraid of becoming a "Mrs." I thought that becoming a Mrs. would mean losing all that was cool about being a Miss. And I was one cool Miss. I loved everything about my life and who I was at that point. I answered to no one. I feared that getting married would change that. However, after being married for a few months, I realized that being married wasn't as bad as I feared. In fact, three and a half years into it, surprise...I actually like it!

But now going through the same thing again. Not only am I a "Mrs.," but now I'm a MOM. I'm afraid that this means that I'm destined for appliqued sweatshirts. Sigh. I'm just not sure that I really want this title. Don't get me wrong, I simply adore Rhett. I do. But this Mom business...that's another story.

I feel like I'm not interesting any more. It used to be that I felt like I was a pretty cool person to know. On our nightly walks with Bruno, it was easy to have good, lively conversations with Chuck about my commute, work, something I read in the Post. But now? I'm one of those women who only talks about her baby. I swore I would never become one of these women.

Also, I miss adult interaction. When my sister called the other day, we talked for 73 minutes. And when Rach came to visit me this past weekend, I honestly thought I was going to give myself a sore throat because I talked so much. It was soooo nice to have someone around that didn't require a voice that's three octaves higher than my normal one. I miss other adults so much that I actually want to ride the Metro again. I know. SHOCKER.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World says that, "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." But what if I don't want to be? I guess I always figured that I'd love being a Mom, but really, why should that be the way of it? Just because it's a commandment, doesn't mean I'll love heeding it (as evidenced by so many other commandments). But how to handle it then? Just suck it up and hope you grow it love it, like I have grown to love being a wife? The worst part about it is feeling like something is wrong with me because I don't love being a Mom. The second worst part is fearing that I never will.

Thankfully, I know two people who still like me...

My Heart Grew Three Sizes that Day

On March 21st my heart grew exponentially in its capacity to love. Yes, part of that growth was for little Rhett. But most of it? For Chuck. No one told me that this would happen.

I think most people wanted to tell me that I was crazy for not having anyone come help me with the new baby. My mom and dad aren't coming out until the first week of May, and my sis was unable to be here. A friend offered to come, but I told her to wait. But this is just how I wanted it: Chuck and me getting used to the new baby together. (Besides, I didn't want anyone privy to my anticipated post-birth craziness.)

And I don't regret that decision one bit. We are lucky that Chuck's mom is a NICU nurse, so any health questions are run by her (as well as by the very knowledgeable sisters and sisters-in-law). We are lucky that ward members helped out with food. We are lucky that the first day of Chuck's spring break was the day Rhett was born, giving Chuck until this past Monday before he had to go back to work. And we're lucky that Chuck has enough sick leave to be able to ease back into going to work.

But I am soooo lucky that I have Chuck to do this with. I am lucky that he knows me so well to know how to handle me. He knows what is important to me (getting the paper read) and what isn't (showering). He knows how to handle my cry-dreams (we left the baby in a crib in a hotel room only to return to a charred baby). He knows how to make me laugh. He knows what to do when I'm crying. I feel so incredibly lucky to have him with me to share this experience. I feel like we have become so much closer during these past 12 days, and I was not prepared for this at all. One of the best things about this closeness is that now that I'm not pregnant, cuddling on the couch returns! All of this has just reinforced to me that marrying him was the smartest thing I've ever done.

(I couldn't resist posting these as well.)

Seeking Advice

Now that I'm all domesticated, I need some advice.

I hate mopping. My mom was a bucket and mop-that-required-squeezing woman. C's mom was a hands-and-knees woman. I am neither of these, as evidenced by the fact that our floors haven't been mopped in a too-embarrassing-to-admit amount of time. I'm intrigued by the Swiffer WetJet and wondered if anyone has any experience with it. Love it? Hate it? Have something better to suggest?

I'm also reconsidering my modus operandus for doing the by-hand dishes. I currently use a scrub brush that sits behind the faucet when not in use. But I just think there has to be something better out there. Again, any suggestions? I have only one sink, if that makes a difference.

Finally, if anyone knows methods for getting the feeling back in my left side, I'd be welcome to those suggestions as well. Especially if the suggestions don't tell me to just have the baby; believe me, I'm still working on that.

Maternity Leave: Day 1

Yesterday was the first day of my maternity leave. A girl could really get used to this. Especially if she wasn't 8.5 months pregnant and if a baby never came. Staying home and playing housewife is really fun.

What did I do? Of course, the paper must be read. It's so much more enjoyable reading it with breakfast (PopTarts, yum) than over lunch. Then I started cooking. I made some frog-eye salad and this yummy delicious chicken salad. Then I started the cleaning and got some dusting done as well as the bed stripped. I walked Bruno to the mailbox since the day was simply gorgeous (mid-60s and sunny). Then it was time for the doctor's appointment where, sadly, nothing has changed. Sigh. The worst part of the appointment was scheduling another appointment for after the due date. Double Sigh. After that, I took my car to be cleaned and then stopped at the grocery store. I got home, finished some cleaning, and stuck the roast in the oven (roast in the oven--wha???). Then it was time for some internetting. I even made some cookies that I froze so that when Mr. Mullet does finally come and I want some cookies, they'll be ready.

By the time this was done, it was time for C to come home from work. Greeting my husband as he walks in from work is a feeling I haven't had often, but I really like it. I feel like I should have been wearing some sort of half apron and bright red lipstick.

The best news is that I get to do it all over again. Today includes reading the paper, internetting, trip to the DMV, walking the dog, trip to the gym, more cleaning, then a baby shower given for me by the cute Young Women.

Like I said, I could really get used to this.

Which is Worse?

C and I are actively looking for a new place to live. Not just to live, but to buy. Last week we found a place we both like. The neighborhood was great, the price was great (as great as housing prices can be, I guess), the proximity to trains was great, and the inside of the house was great too. We placed an offer and waited...and waited...and then yesterday were told the offer was accepted...and then a couple of hours later, were told the offer was not accepted as the house had gone into foreclosure that day.

Bummed as we were, we had no choice but to continue on with our lives. One thing that we have promised to each other and to Bruno, is that Bruno will get his daily walks, regardless of how we feel that day (unless Mother Nature has other plans...like today). Upon conclusion of yesterday's walk with Bruno, I expressed interest in going to McDonald's for an ice cream cone. Because C had already had a "good food day" (pizza and ice cream at a work-sponsored duck-pin bowling party), he response to this was a face of absolute disgust, one that squelched all hope of having the yummy goodness that is a McDonald's ice cream cone.

Of these two events (losing the house and no ice cream), guess which one brought me closer to tears?

I'll give you a (big fat) hint...

In C's defense, his face was not of the "unsupportive" variety nor of the "you're ridiculous" variety. (Believe me, I know both faces.) I later learned that it was more of a, "That just does not sound good to me at all." But being the good husband he is, he was more than willing to take me to get the ice cream. And it was good.

I Knew What He Was When I Picked Him Up...

Yes, I knew that C liked playing video games before we got married. And more than that, I didn't mind. I have my own hobbies; who am I to deem his hobby as one beneath mine? Besides, do I really want a husband who likes to sew as much as I do? I think not. But ever since C got his Wii (cough, cough, the day it was first released), there's just something about this machine that I can't get over: it's just embarrassing.

I know this is an internal struggle I've had for some time. I don't like doing things that I know will make me look silly. You'd think at 30 years old, I'd be over this. But I'm not. So when C picked out "Guitar Hero" with his Christmas money, I cringed inside. But he really enjoys it, so what's a girl to do? Take his picture, of course.

But what I can not explain is how he convinced me to play. I had NEVER before even touched his Wii controllers and he somehow got me to play that dumb guitar?!

What I can explain, however, is the outcome. That was pretty much a given.

Happy Anniversary C!

Three years? Three years already?! How can that be?! Thank you for making being married far less painful than I imagined. I love you baby.

What Do You Mean You Aren't Full?

I've blogged about some of the changes that had to come about once C and I married. One of which was that my eating habits had to change. Half a can of Campbell's soup with 10 saltines wasn't enough for dinner for C...how could I have known?! We recently returned from a weekend camping trip to Shenandoah. To illustrate the effect that being married has had on me and my eating habits, I created the following photo essay.

Last Names

I don't necessarily hate my married name, but I definitely don't love it either. Before getting married, I had a last name that was generally mis-pronounced and certainly misspelled. My new last name was, in my opinion, just a lateral move as it is also mis-pronounced and misspelled. My sister, however, definitely "traded up" when she got married, as did my friend Carrie. I feel that my poor cousin Natalie went down the last name ladder. Her married name is definitely harder to spell and far less common than our previous names. (Feel free to disagree Nat!)

I've posted before about how I wish that I had at least thought about keeping my old last name after getting married. C, however, is glad that I didn't because who knows what the outcome would have been. But I have been giving this last name business a lot of thought lately. Does the Mullet have to have my (our) last name? Can we give it something entirely different? If so, I have a couple of ideas. First, "Lickliter." I love love LOVE the way this sounds. Second, "Powers." Think of the things you can do with this. Any child would be a shoe-in for class president with a last name like this. And finally, my favorite, "Sugarbaker." For obvious reasons.

28 Reasons to Love a Certain 28-Year Old

1. He cleans the snow off my car even when his school is cancelled and he doesn’t have to get up.
2. He rations my Hot Tamales for me, but knows when I really need more than my rationed share.
3. He helps me count and organize 500 pennies for a class that isn’t even his.
4. He steals candy from his work meetings to bring them home to me because he knows how much I love sugar.
5. He loves chunky peanut butter and nuts in his banana bread.
6. Even if it’s only when I’m out of town, he remembers to pull the shower curtain closed after use.
7. He’ll go swimming with me so that I don’t feel like a moron doing my water-running.
8. When he pulls off his shirts at night, they are inside-out. They are then washed this way. BUT he doesn't fix them before he puts them on. He just has this magic way of taking an inside-out shirt and putting it on directly. I love watching this process.
9. He’ll let me have the remaining two servings of baked oatmeal for my breakfast and lunch, in the same day. Even if it means he gets none of the leftovers at all.
10. He’ll eat bagels for lunch six days out of seven just because we got them free and I didn’t want to waste them.
11. He’s totally committed to Bruno and wants to be a good dog-dad, and he is!
12. He’s willing to do the daily dog brushing. He understands that I am too traumatized from Thor’s hair to do this.
13. He knows when I’m sad enough to merit a back rub from the happy wood man. (You know, the little massager with the head and four legs with a face painted on it?? Ooooh, I do love the happy wood man.)
14. He helps me (either physically or emotionally) so much in the kitchen.
15. He is willing to transform into his alter-ego, “Tall-ee,” when I need something from on high in the kitchen.
16. He gets up in the middle of the night to take Bruno outside.
17. He gets up in the middle of the night to clean up Bruno’s puke.
18. Since he had never before seen “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat,” he let me sing to him the entire show. I’m not sure who benefited more.
19. He cleans up after dinner parties. And I’m talking a HUGE clean-up. The kitchen was a disaster.
20. Did I already mention that he cleans up dog puke? Even hours-old dog puke? Cause he does.
21. He’ll watch “What Not to Wear” with me even if it means he’s missing “SportsCenter.” (However, now that we’re without cable, we’re both missing our shows.)
22. He’s okay with having just cereal for dinner.
23. He offers to help me with my sewing projects, and doesn't renege when I say "okay."
24. He is very good at looking at all sides of an issue and thinking about things before acting on them.
25. He calls football (any sport for that matter) plays before the announcers do. It is eerie how accurate he is at this.
26. He tickles my back every Sunday immediately following the passing of the sacrament.
27. He is willing to share household responsibilities, 50/50 except for the bathroom where he does it 100%.
28. He loves me despite all my crazy ways! (This one alone is enough to love him back.)

My New Favorite Home Organization Tool

C and I have finally nailed down dinners; it only took 2 1/2 years. We have a solid list of the “regulars” from which we pick, as well as a binder full of things that are “waiting to be tried,” many of which came from the Foodees site. We then use these resources to put together a calendar for the entire month of what we’re going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This helps me tremendously, as I don’t think well on the fly. If I didn’t plan, we’d end up eating cold cereal for dinner and marshmallows for dessert. Every night. Although, would that be that bad?!

While reading my Cooking Light magazine the other day, someone shared a tip that I now find invaluable. Find a theme for each night of the week and choose your dinners from that theme. In our house, for example, it has become the following: Sunday is “International Night.” Monday is “Pizza night.” Tuesday is “Mexican night.” Wednesday is “Breakfast night.” Thursday is “Grill night.” Friday is “Pasta night.” Saturday is “Soup and Sandwich night.” Most of the things that we eat fell easily into one of these categories, so we didn’t have to add many things.

Why do I like this so much? Normally when doing our monthly planning, I struggle to make dinners as varied as possible; I don’t want spaghetti right next to the homemade mac and cheese, for example. This is totally going to eliminate this. Also, although we now have entrees down pat, we still struggle with sides. But we decided that we’ll pick a side that is particular to that day. For example, the side for pizza night? A green salad of course! And finally, it will help with the grocery shopping. I know that for international night and pizza night, I’m more likely to need fresh produce, so shopping on Saturday makes this easier. No more trips to Giant on a Wednesday just for scallions!

Given that today is Monday, I’m really looking forward to pizza tonight. Thai Chicken Pizza, to be precise. And if it’s good, look for the recipe on the Foodees soon!

FHE for Two

Our next enrichment meeting is going to be focused on Family Home Evening. I was asked to give a 10-minute spiel on " FHE for two," I guess because the enrichment leader figured I should know something about it. I don't. I should, I realize, but I don't. C and I started our marriage with weekly FHEs. But then, as most good intentions, well, we sort of started forgetting to do it. And then I started teaching on Monday nights, and we haven't seen FHE since.

However, that doesn't mean I don't want to do it. I do. I believe it's important, and not just because it's a commandment. But, as it is only two of us in our household (no puggy, sniff), it seems our whole life is FHE! Need to talk scheduling? Okay, how about in the car on the way to work. Need to talk finances? Okay, how about at the end of the month when I bring home the report. Need to talk gospel? Okay, how about on Sunday after we heard a talk. It just seems that our life is constant FHE.

So that's what I decided my 10-minute talk will be on. How do couples separate FHE from the rest of their regularly scheduled lives? Thoughts?

Results of the Experiment

As C and I were in Puerto Rico last week, I was unable to report the results of the experiment. Instead, I decided to continue the experiment for the entire two week span, something I knew would be very hard. The first week was the easier week: we were at home and had nothing special going on that week. We are on such a schedule that it's pretty easy just to go with the flow. However, last week was much harder. Being in a brand-new place, doing brand-new things can lead to much criticism. But I am happy to report that I think I did a fair job. Certainly things still were said that would be considered "critiques" or "criticism." But for the most part, I feel like I tried to bite my tongue. A lot. When reflecting on those statements I wanted to say but didn't, I realized that they were truly unnecessary. So what if he wants to use the water bottle with the loops when saving that bottle for work would be better? I think this experiment taught me that these things that I wanted to say but didn't were, for the most part, your run-of-the-mill "nagging." And because I don't want to be that type of wife, I'll continue working on this.

As far as C's part (thanks, Linda, for reminding me of this!), he did fine. We realized that he definitely does try to solve my problems, when I'd rather he just sympathize with me. However, I learned that I like his input most of the time. So it became hard for him to know when I wanted solutions and when I didn't. I'll just have to learn to tell him when I want the answers. We all know that he has more than enough of them!

The Experiment

I began reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus last night. As I have serious doubts in my abilities to be a good wife, I have read a lot on topics akin to this. In the first chapter, Dr. Gray wrote about how men and women are supposed to be different. Fine. I can accept this. Because of these differences, we are going to communicate in different ways. Fine. I can also accept this. He then proposed this first difference: women think that men don't listen to them. What men are really doing, however, is listening but then proposing solutions because they think their women are asking for these solutions. Problem with this is that women don't want these solutions. They simply want their men to listen and to sympathize. On the other hand, men don't want women's unsolicited comments. Unless they ask for help, women should not be giving it. And if the women do give it, we as women are undermining their masculinity by implying that they need help. Bad, very bad. He ended this chapter by giving the following challenge: for one week C is simply to listen to whatever I say with the intent to only understand, but not propose solutions. He challenged me to give no unsolicited advice or criticism during this same week.

By bedtime, I had already had to bite my tongue three times. It had only been 90 minutes. It's going to be a looong week.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker...

For the most part, C and I are pretty well-matched. We are both extremely analytical and logical. We love problem solving. We are both left-brained. We are both math nerds who are proud to admit it. We both think we're smarter than the general population (please no comments on whether this is actually true). And we laugh at the same things. However, there are two places where we are polar opposites.

First: our palettes. I am sweet; he is salty. I am pesto and pine nuts; he is pepperoni and peanuts. I am half-a-can of soup; he is two bowls of chili. Surprisingly though, he has done very well being open-minded towards new things. Ground turkey tacos? He's fine with them. Ground turkey burgers? Well, not so fine. He will try most things (veggie burgers excluding). But he does have some food-phobias that I consider slightly elementary-school. He despises mushrooms, onions, cream of anything soup (and that includes things made with cream of anything soup), most vegetables (which is okay as I also despise most vegetables), and seafood. He won't try tofu or any other meat substitutes. As I don't mean to make this seem like a "C bashing" post, I'll admit that I really won't try most real meat. I am always trying to find fat-free or lower fat options, sometimes at the cost of better taste. After two years of being married, we've compromised on a lot of things. But it's still a struggle.

Second: motivational factors. I have them; C does not. This doesn't mean that he's a slacker at work. He seems to be really on top of things there and rarely has to bring work home. However, once home, he's done working. On the other hand, while I also never bring home work, I still find little jobs and projects to keep me busy around the house. Whether it's a designing new placemats, organizing files, getting lunches ready for the next day, filling the water bottles, planning our next vacation...I seem to be able to keep busy. But other than his daily chores, he seems to think the Wii is a better way to spend his time. Again, neither is right and neither is wrong. We're just different. And different is good.