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I almost don't know what to say, so this will be short. Nine days ago I met with the Bishop. Three days ago I put on the ward Christmas activity (no small event, mind you). Fifty hours ago I was released from my calling of six months. And 49 hours and 58 minutes ago I was sustained to a new one. Young Women's President. President. I'm shocked. I'm humbled. I'm scared to death. Excuse me while I puke.
I've been teaching the Beehives for almost one year. I really enjoy it. The girls are really animated and seem to have strong testimonies. They actively participate in the lessons (unless that lesson is about sex, but I understand that) and share stories...related to the topic or not. The only problem I have with this class is that the manual is older than I am. Not one quote in the book comes from a decade since the 1970s. Yes, doctrines and principles stay the same. But why can't we make the stories a little bit more applicable (out with farming and in with texting!). Next week in Young Women's I get to give this lesson. It's titled, "Preparing to Become an Eternal Companion." My first thought? Blech. Even though I am temple-married (and therefore C's eternal companion), I still struggle with these topics for this reason: shouldn't our young women be striving for something more than this? To me, becoming an eternal companion, while not easy, is not the final step in our progression. Staying worthy of being one, yes. But just becoming one? No. After some thought, I realized that we still have to be prepared for this, whether this happens in this life or in the next. (And don't worry, I'll certainly make this point!) So fine.
Once I came to terms with the actual objective of this lesson, I had another issue. This lesson listed two areas in which we need to prepare to become these eternal companions. First, spiritual preparation and second, homemaking skills. That's it. Just these two. I'm stunned. If I teach this, won't I be woefully underpreparing these girls?
So here's my list of additional areas in which I think anyone (male or female) should be prepared:
- First, and most importantly: I think we all need to know who we are. This is not simply, "I am a son/daughter of God." This should go far beyond that. It's knowing your likes, your dislikes, your expectations from new mate, the things that drive you crazy, the things that you could do without. These kinds of things.
- Second, communication. Once you know who you are, you need to be able to communicate these things to your spouse. Your spouse is NOT a mind reader!!! (Possibly the most important thing I've learned since being married.) Tell him/her if you have wants or needs that are not being met. I know it's romantic to hope that he'll magically notice that the garbage is ridiculously full; but realistically, he won't. So ask him, nicely, to take it out. He probably will. Also, if asked the question, "What's wrong?" NEVER answer with "Nothing" if in fact, something is wrong. Practice talking about things, all things: finances, moods, feelings, wants, desires, etc.
- Third: compromise. In any relationship this is huge. Also important is knowing that compromise isn't relegated strictly to the big things. Rather, I think most spouses agree on big-tickets things; that's probably why you're together. So this includes compromise on the small things.
What am I missing?
In the past, I haven't been so good about preparing lessons in advance. But I am just so excited to be back in the Young Women that I actually want to do a good job. I want to help these young girls who are so adorable. I want them to learn from and enjoy their Beehive experience. I want them to know that I genuinely care about them. So I've made it a goal to at least look at the lesson before Sacrament meeting.I've already met the goal for this upcoming Sunday. My lesson is on journals. After reading the lesson, I still had a few questions: Why are we told to keep records? What is the benefit? Is it more for us or more for our progenitors? I think if I understand the reasons to keep them, I'd know better what to include. The lesson shares a story about one of Brigham Young's daughters who wrote in her journal about the craziest details about the description of every single room in her house. BOOOORING. Sorry, but really? Am I supposed to tell the YW that they should document everything in their house in the off chance that someday, someone will want to recreate it? I don't think so! But then, how do we all know what to include? And how do we keep it from being so embarrassing when we read it years later?
