26 September 2006

We've Got Cheesecakes Over Here

I haven't been thinking much lately, so instead I'll tell a story. Three weeks ago, C and I were helping his family get ready for C's brother's wedding. The bride wanted cheesecakes, so cheesecakes she would have. And cheesecakes we would make, all by hand. At the end of production we realized that there was not enough room in my in-law's fridges to hold all the cheesecakes. So C and I offer to store a couple of them at our house until the wedding. Fine. The only hitch was getting the cheesecakes from their house to ours, seeing as though the cheesecakes were not yet set. No matter; we thought we could handle it.

The drive from my in-law's house to my own isn't that long. The problem is the speed humps. A LOT of speed humps. But, as it was fairly late we thought we wouldn't come upon too many other cars. So we start off on the journey. Within a few hundred yards of being on the road, a few cars caught up to us. As I was driving about 20 mph on a 25 mph road, I pulled over and let them pass. (See how nice I am?!) Now the excitement begins. Another car nears me from behind; however, he gives me no time to be nice before he starts flashing his brights and tailgating me. Being the kind person that I am, I decide that he doesn't deserve me pulling over for him, so I don't. Remember that although this road is only two lanes, it's a widely-used road and therefore has a double yellow line down the center. After about three blocks, the tailgater can take it no more and flies around me going at least 40 (crossing the double yellow line--GASP!). I can see he's livid, but what do I care? At this point, I was just wishing there were cops around to nab the jerkface. But he's gone, and it's over....or is it???

As we are approaching the next light, we notice that the jerkface was caught at the red light (a Kip Dynamite's "Yes" here would be appropriate). We also notice that he's driving a company truck. A company truck with a "How's My Driving?" bumper sticker on it! This is almost as good as if a cop had been there to nab the jerkface. So I'm scrambling for a pen and paper and scurrying to write down the information as I slowly pull up next to the driver (the road has now become four lanes). As I pull up, I make it a point to show this jerkface what I'm doing. But we know that he knows exactly what I'm doing and starts yelling and even rolls down his passenger side window! So I roll down my window (stupid, stupid, I know) just in time to hear the obscenities he's spewing. And the only thing I manage to spit out is, "We've got cheesecakes over here!" Nice one, I know.

As soon as we get home, I call the number and report the incident, my heart still pounding from the encounter. I have no idea what the repercussions were for this inane driver, but I almost don't care. It felt good just to be able to do something about it.

But here's the moral of the story that C and I are applying to our daily lives (again, nice one): Whenever we are driving and get behind that slow driver, or the idiot with his blinker on, or the idiot who doesn't use his blinker when he cuts me off, we take a deep breath and say, "Maybe he has cheesecakes." And then we feel much better. THE END.

19 September 2006

Crazy Critter Tale

As mentioned in a previous post, one of my new favorite things are the online chats done by columnists of the Washington Post. I love them. They save me at work when I'm bored, and, when I'm not really all that bored. They are staffed by people who know a lot about a lot of different topics. Plus, some of them are really hysterical (check out Gene Weingarten on Tuesdays or Lisa de Moraes on Fridays). These are my usuals: Travel, Life at Work, any chat about food, Fitness Gurus, Got Plans?, Weekend Now, Tell Me About It, and On TV. I've even won two fancy cookbooks due to my participation in them. Anyway, I didn't mean to spend this entire post on the chats. But, the travel chat yesterday (which I had to miss due to a lame-o meeting) started with an interesting topic. Here's what they wrote: "Tell us your favorite/scariest/funniest critter tale. Have a raccoon crawl into a tent with you? Snuggle with a snake? Swim with the sharks?" And seeing as I had to miss it due to the lame-o meeting, I thought I'd share with you what I would have shared with them. (And I would have won that prize, too. I'm just sure of it.)

The first crazy animal story was during my travels of the summer of 2003. I was making my way to Canada and doing a lot of car camping on the way. This particular leg of the trip found me in Olympic National Park in northwest Washington. It was raining (shocker), and I didn't feel like hiking alone. I was bored in my tent, and so I went to check out the visitor's center. There was a nice man there, and I chatted with him for some time, as I never felt like going back to my tent. When I finally did decide to go back to my tent, I found that it was being guarded by about 20 very large elk. They were all bedded down and completely freaking me out. I didn't dare defy their authority, so I went back to the visitor's center and just chilled. Unfortunately for me, the visitor's center closed not long after I came back to it. Fortunately for me, when I was forced back to my tent, the elk had moved. Phew.

The other crazy animal story happened earlier this year. C and I were in Atlantic City and were enjoying a funnel cake on the boardwalk. Then, out of NOWHERE, a pigeon comes over my left shoulder, rips a piece off my funnel cake, and knocks the funnel cake off the plate and onto the boardwalk. The whole thing took about, oh, 2 seconds and cost me a delicious funnel cake.

14 September 2006

My Love/Hate Relationship

I love television. I really love television. But I wish that I didn't really love television. I wish I could be one of people who doesn't have a television in their homes. Or maybe even be one of those people who only watches an hour a week (props to my sister for being this way). Gosh, even an hour a day would be better than what I currently practice. Sigh. But I'm not one of "those people." I doubt that I ever will be. Now that you know that I watch way too much television, I will now divulge all that I am currently watching on purpose. (I'll leave out the incidental viewings of Judge Judy during my runs or Simpsons during dinner.)
  • My current favorite is TLC's "What Not to Wear." I love this show. I love the interaction between Stacy and Clinton and the guests. I love how "anti" the guests start out but how truly converted they become at the end. Plus, I just love making fun of how bad people can look.
  • Another favorite is Bravo's "Project Runway." I love watching the participants create the outfits. Their creativity intrigues and disgusts me at the same time. Plus, people fighting is always fun to watch.
  • A new favorite is HGTV's "Design Star." This is one I just started watching last week. I caught the very last two episodes, but thanks to On Demand, I am working on catching up. I think I like it so much because it's what I wanted Martha Stewart's Apprentice to be. But "Design Star" is actually fun, and the host actually has a good tv persona.
  • Here's the embarrassing one: "Cops." Lately I've been feeling that I could one day be a police officer. I loved working at BYU because I felt like I was making a difference. At my current job, I just don't feel that way. But I think being a cop could be extremely rewarding, and, admittedly, extremely depressing. But this show is all about the people-watching.
  • Then of course there are the few others that I like: Seinfeld, The Office, Survivor, House, Donald's Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, Arrested Development, Scrubs, Freaks and Geeks, and the guilty pleasure, Sex and the City.

See? I told you I watch a lot of television.

08 September 2006

Fun For Fridays

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. I'm dying. Take a look. (I purposefully omitted the name of the place to make it that much more of a surprise when you actually click on this link.)

This is another one of my all-time favorite funny sites. So funny, in fact, I used some of the results at a work conference in Portland last year.

05 September 2006

One Size Fits All...Or Does It?

Something I've been thinking about lately is how some Church teachings, principles, or commandments can be so "one-sized." That is, how one thing (be it a mission, getting married, having kids, etc.) can be (and in some cases, must be) for everyone. In a church that has over 12 million members, it's amazing to me that there are some things that are supposed to be universal. I guess I just don't really understand how a mission can truly be the best thing for all young men. Or why everyone must be married to enter the highest tier of the Celestial kingdom. Out of 12 million people, doesn't there have to exist one person who really doesn't fit the mold of being a spouse or doesn't even want (gasp!) to get married? Or, out of the 12 million people, doesn't there have to exist at least one couple who would be happier without kids?

I'm sure it's obvious from this post on which side my own biases are. As I didn't serve a mission, I can't really comment on that. However, while I really am enjoying being married, I still sometimes miss being single, and often don't understand why being married is essential to salvation. And on a scale of 1 to 100, 100 denoting an incredibly strong desire for motherhood and 1 denoting the opposite, I'm probably around a 7 (although that used to be a 4, so I'm getting closer).

So then, what do people do who do not necessarily want these things? Do you jump in and do it and chance unhappiness in an unfulfilling marriage and grueling demands of children? Or do you not jump in and therefore risk your eternal salvation?

01 September 2006

My How She's Grown

Look at the people currently in your life, and think about how long they have known you. In my life, the people that I am around most (in-laws, co-workers, ward members, etc.) haven't known me for that long. I think that this is interesting because I feel like I have changed so much in the past ten years, but those that I am around most don't even know it! They don't know that I used to wear a sweatshirt around my waist constantly. They don't know that I didn't wear make-up until grad school. They don't know that I used to be nice and kind to strangers. And they don't know that I used to cross-stitch like CRAZY!

What's also interesting is to look at the people in your life who you knew really well at one point in time, but with whom you have since lost contact. This is even more interesting to me than the preceding case. In college, I was a girl who really wanted to get married and have lots of kids. I didn't want to work once I was married. I didn't run, and, in fact, didn't exercise at all. I was more tomboy than priss (although I make no claim about being a real tomboy back then). But if I was to run into someone now that knew me strictly from college, would they even notice these changes? Would they see that I turned into a girl who really wasn't that excited about getting married? Would they learn that I've limited myself to two kids (mainly due to the lack of desire to ever own a mini-van)? Would they know that not only do I think I'll have to work, but if I could be teaching math or stats, I'd actually like to work? Would they know that I run about 20 miles a week...and enjoy it? Would they realize how girly-girl I've really become? Or have I changed more in my own head than in I have in actuality???

And kind of related to this, is that I like to cook now. Not just bake, but really cook. I thought that I would share some of my favorite recipes with everyone. To find them (recipes for both cookies and entrees), click on the link to the right that says, "C and E home page."